12 Subtle Clues Your Partner Is Cheating On You
Finding out your partner is cheating on you is often a shock. The reason for this is simple: many cheaters aren’t obvious about what they are doing.
But if you know what the subtle clues of a cheater are, you can bust the cheater early and move on to a much better relationship.
Here are 10 subtle clues your partner is cheating on you to watch out for. If the warning signs add up, move out and move on!
1. They keep forgetting if they’ve already told you something
This is truly one of the most subtle clues a partner is cheating on you.
Does your partner keep repeating the same stories to you? Do they forget if they’ve already told you something? Do they constantly ask you, “Did I tell you this already?”
This is a warning sign that they could be confiding in someone else and are having trouble keeping track of their conversations.
2. They start asking what time you’re coming home
If you’re partner has always casually asked when you will be home, and in turn, always lets you know what time to expect them home, there is probably nothing to worry about.
But if your partner starts needing to keep strict tabs on when you will be home, and especially if this indicates a sudden change in behavior, it could be a red flag. Your partner might be trying to find out when they’ll have the home to themselves to carry on an affair.
3. They refuse to make big joint purchases even though money is not an issue
Money is one of the most divisive things in a relationship. And the way your partner reacts to big purchases reveals how they feel about your relationship.
For example, big joint purchases such as a new car or house show confidence in the relationship. It means that your partner believes you’ll be together for a good, long time.
But if your partner is suddenly hesitant to make joint purchases like this, and money doesn’t seem to be the issue, it may be a sign of cheating. A big purchase makes it more difficult to get out of the relationship quickly.
4. They are suddenly more focused on their appearance
When someone begins an affair, they want to impress the new lover. And this often means looking their best.
Ask yourself: is your partner suddenly hitting the gym, buying stylish clothing, and generally focusing on their appearance? In some cases, this may just be a desire to lose a few holiday pounds or impress their co-workers. But it may also be a sign they are now having an affair and seriously invested in looking better than before!
5. They never tell you their plans to go out without you
It’s normal and healthy for romantic partners to have their own lives and social circles outside of the relationship. Inevitably, this will lead to the occasional “girl’s night” or a weekend with the boys.
But if your partner constantly fails to mention their plans, leaving you home alone to worry — this is a red flag. It indicates they are being selective about what they do and do not tell you, and that is simply something that honest partners don’t do.
6. They keep a lot of cash on hand
These days, most of us pay for things with debit or credit cards. It’s simply easier and safer than walking around everywhere with a ton of cash on hand.
Because of this, you should be very wary if your partner suddenly has lots of cash on hand or goes to the ATM all the time. It may indicate that they are going out on dates with somebody else and paying with cash so there is no trail you can follow on a shared bank account.
Speaking of bank accounts, if your partner is suddenly nervous about sharing accounts or wants to split a shared account into separate accounts, this is also a huge warning sign.
7. They text constantly
One of the biggest indications someone is having an affair is if they can’t put the phone down. Obviously, some people (including yours truly) may just be addicted to the internet.
But if your partner suddenly changes their phone behavior, such as texting way more than usual or taking their phone into the bathroom where you can’t see them, it’s possible they’re cheating on you.
By the way, if your partner goes out of their way to delete text messages right after they send them, treat this as the reddest of flags!
8. They act differently in the bedroom
While it’s not always polite to talk about, the truth is that sex is the glue that typically holds a relationship together. And that means you need to pay close attention if your partner has switched to a different brand of glue!
For example, if they bring new sex moves into the bedroom, it may be a sign they are learning new moves from another lover. Or if they suddenly have less desire to have sex with you, it may be because they are having sex with someone else.
9. Their body language changes
You may not consider yourself a body language expert. But you know what your partner looks like when they are hanging around you. Typically, their body language should look confident and relaxed.
However, your partner may suddenly be slouching over at times, which can be a sign of guilt. Or they may be rocking back and forth, which may be a sign of nervousness. Basically, if they don’t look comfortable being in the same room as you, it’s probably because they did something!
10. Their attitude toward you changes
Just as changes in body language are a major warning sign of an affair, so are changes in attitude. And this may include seemingly negative and positive changes!
For example, a cheater may seem to constantly pick fights and get mad over small things. This may be to provide cover and justification for why they just “had” to cheat on you.
Alternatively, someone who normally picks fights in a relationship may suddenly act really chill because they are focused on the affair and mentally checked out of the relationship with you.
11. They shower you with gifts
It’s always nice to get gifts from your partner. And you can usually expect gifts on your birthday, the holidays, and other special occasions such as anniversaries.
But has your partner suddenly started giving you a lot more gifts? This may be a sign that they are cheating on you and feeling guilty.
By buying you things they know you want, your partner may be trying to soothe their own guilt over running around behind your back.
12. They accuse you of cheating
Ironically enough, many cheaters spend a lot of time accusing their primary partner of cheating on them. Some of this is just paranoid projection: they may worry that you would disrespect them in the same way they are disrespecting you.
However, accusing you of cheating may also be a strategy to throw you off your game and make you think your partner is vehemently against having affairs. If these accusations come out of nowhere, be sure to consider them as a major warning sign.